OMG, by coincidence I did something embarrassing today.
Background: my state has been building a new hospital for the last IDK how many years, and it's now a few months from fully opening to the public. Today I went there, with a bunch of other mental health nurses, for training on the new layout, system processes etcetera.
Be me: After lunch, we went to the psych unit and had to pair up to count how many emergency exits, fire extinguishers, resuscitation trolleys, fire phones etc there were. We all 10 walked around together cos it's a building site so we had to stay with the tour guide, who is a mental health nurse I've worked with a few times.
I picked fire phones cos it's easier to count. Another chick picked it too.
Me: "yo, I picked it cos the number should be low so I won't lose count."
"K, one phone imo"
"Ey, see that one?"
"2 is the count now."
Me: *notices a pattern* "I reckon they'll all be in staff areas" *unspoken and un-consciously thought words "so the patients don't cause havoc with the phone"*
*3rd phone is found*
"There'll be one in this huge office space tbh"
*we look in all corners* nooope
We reach another nurse station and I just KNOW there's a red phone there somewhere. I find it hidden behind a door, so what do I do?
I pick up the receiver and show it to my counting partner as she approaches. (
*phone, tbh*" (
All members of the party are now present in the near vicinity.
/why does this phone catch on the hook when I pick it up? *hmmm*/ (duhhhh)
*hangs up receiver, picks it up again, hangs it up /hmmm interesting/*
5 seconds passesBEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP!
I startle and say something, IDK exactly what, something similar to "HEAVENS TO MERGATROYD!!! WHAT PER SE IS GOING ON???" except way less cool and way more anxious and scared. Probably something boring like "OH MY GOD!!! WHAT THE HELL???
A member of our group calmly tells me it's okay.
/omg a psychiatrist is psychiatristing me. I just freaked in front of mental health workers and I'm apparently a frickin mental health nurse myself. WTH must they be thinking?/
*fakes chilling my s****
/okej, I'm chill but now I'm embarrassed/
"You probably shouldn't have picked up that phone"
- tour guide.
/omg how do I make myself not embarrassed?/
BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP
I JUST REBEEEEEEP AND REBEEEEEEP MYSELF COS I BEEEEEEEEP AND I BEEEEEEEEP AND DON'T FALL ASLBEEEEEEEEP
/I think I'm blushing. OMG I am, I bet I am/
BEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP MEEEEP MEEEEP MEEEEEP MEEEP
/Is, uh..., is the siren is mocking me???/
MEEEEEP MEEEEEP MEEEEEP MEEEEEP
/i think this siren is mocking me/
MEHP MEHP MEHP MEHP MEHP MEHP
/oh cmon now.../
/DON'T BE F***ING RIDICULOUS! THAT'S NOT EVEN A LEGIT SIREN! .....You saw that on some American cop drama, amirite?/
MEHP MEHP MEHP MEHP
"Motherf***er, don't play with me. Not in the mood.
Dooooon't try me!
:Dooooon'tcare: - me "
"The firetruck is probably going to turn up. The entire fire process is probably in motion. I'll have to call them and try to cancel it." (Ten firefighters, 15 security guards and all possible managers and government ministers will turn up within *3, 2, 1*, I say!)
- tour guide
" - tour guide
"But I hung up asap. And uh..... if you call within 30 seconds, doesn't it cancel it?
It cancels it, right? Pls tell me it cancels it!
TODAY OF ALL DAYS, PLS SAY "it cancels it"! If you or anyone was ever gonna tell me or anyone else that a phonecall averts a grand calamity, please let it be you telling me that today.
TALK TO ME! WOMAN! ANSWER MY PRAYERS! *shakes the s*** outta her*
I-I-I, I neeed this.
...Omg, hell no, you don't have to be Godlike or non atheist to answer prayers.
Yeeesh, it's a turn of phrase...
(That wasn't the embarrassing part)
*tour guide cancels the s**** Luckily nothing was happening yet.
"Kids these days. There AAALLLLways HAAAAAS to be SOOOMEone in EEEEEvery grOO-OOp"
- tour guide
^Creative dialoguic licence may be present
^The embarrassing part was all the true stuff